April Fools! School Bathrooms Closed in Wake of Juuling Epidemic

by Nelson Cummiskey

In recent developments, school bathrooms have been shut down for the rest of the year due to the excess of juuling occurring in these areas. Faculty have caught on to the juuling epidemic that has taken hold of our school and are trying hard to crack down on it. They have tried lots of methods such as posters and rules, but nobody really cares about those. The real way to get to someone… take away their toilets.

The administration found themselves trying to contain a problem rather than stop it. They recently got together and, in a brainstorm, found a solution that may be just crazy enough to work. They are going to close the school bathrooms until the end of the year. This will leave nowhere for the juuls to hide.

In the past, administrators have struggled to combat the addictive menace known as “The Juul.” With ears tuned to listen for the soft request from one student to another to “pass the juul” or “let me get a hit,” the faculty of the school found themselves on the losing end of an uphill battle. Taking the kids juuls seemed like I would stop it, but they just keep showing up. That strategy seemed more of an inconvenience to the students than an actual way of stopping it. In fact, it’s quite amazing how much money these kids are willing to spend on these little addiction creators.          

Some may say that this solution to the problem is unreasonable. But isn’t it also unreasonable to be addicted to nicotine when you don’t even know how to do taxes?

And if you believe this, then…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s