April Fools! NCAA Name Change$ is keeping with the Time$

by Senam Quartey

In an effort to show and push their agenda of making money off of athletes, the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) is being fully transparent about their real purpose — and the public is just fine with it. The NCAA is now officially changing their name to the National Cash Accumulation of Athletes.

One of the biggest sports organizations offering athletes a way for free education and opportunity, the NCAA traditionally has been one of the greatest exploiters of young athletes’ likenesses and branding without compensation of their money-making talents, and now they’re being totally straight about it. “The NCAA is one of the greatest sports organizations we have in America, the one offering big time athletes access to education, but education is something most of these kids don’t need,” says Marc MyWords, faux CEO of the organization.

 “What these kids really need,” says Brett Finehardt, second-in-command of departmental moneygrabbing, “Is the limiting of their personal incomes by taking away a student’s whole identity.”

The National Collegiate Athletic Association started as a way to provide young athletes a pathway to professionalism while providing them with a free or inexpensive college education, but is now changing with the times. Further explains Fiehardt, “This was made with good intentions but turned into something that soley and purposefully wants the green. Which is no problem whatsoever.”

“ In fact it’s what we need. More money is the best thing for everyone. Making money can help the NCAA, help the colleges, pay coache,s and much more. In fact it’s the best version of sports for everyone…”

“Except the athletes, “Sas Mywords. “But who cares about them though? It’s not about them. It’s about how much money can be made off of them.


Both execs state how the name change has really been a long time coming and will earn teams more seats from fans and higher ratings.

“The numbers for viewership wouldn’t decrease,” Mywords says. “In fact they should be going up soon. If we get a good sports game, we will pay.”

“ No one cares about the students,” he reiterates. “They all get their education and that should be more than enough. Everyone should stop complaining.”

And if you believe this, then…

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